2009: The Year in Review
Feature: The Year in Review, 2009
Rugby League Player Yearbook. November 2009.
Pages 64-65
ANOTHER STORM PREMIERSHIP. SHOULD WE BE SURPRISED?
Globo Gym are the most consistent team of the new milennium. They’re better than you … and they know it. Except, of course, for Brett Finch. He was on the embarassing end of an unceremonious breakup with Parramatta midway through the season. Let’s not lie: he was dumped for a younger (and prettier) man.
Winning a premiership and beating your trophy wife competition to get it has to be the sweetest thing any footy player can hope for. It’s a Brett Finch Fairytale! And the Brett Finch Fairytale topped off what was a year of scandal, redemption, glamour, footy babies and damn good footy.
THE SCANDAL
It’s virtually impossible to talk league in 2009 without talking league scandal: Jason Taylor and his kung fu escapades, Greg Inglis allegedly getting his punch on, Brett Stewart and the NRL’s showpiece ad going up in smoke, Nate Myles and Brad Fittler’s corridor shenanigans, the Sharks just being the Sharks. It’s all so … tired. It’s probably shorter to cover what didn’t happen off the field in league this year. For one thing, on behalf of Jarryd Hayne, we would like to remind you all that no one shot at him with any kind of firearm this year. More importantly, the 2009 NRL season was INTERNATIONAL MANHUNT FREE.
We’ll put it out there that any year when a sporting code doesn’t have an international fugitive leaving in the dead of night and avoiding process servers is a good year. Glass half full, kids!
The scandal in the last twelve months has also been nothing if not educational. At least 99% of the metropolitan population is now aware of what the word ‘defecate’ means. Add to that the intellectual challenges of the McIntyre System, and rugby league now leads the world’s football codes in Making People Smarter.
THE REDEMPTION
Approximately twelve months ago, Kiki had an awkward run-in with Anthony Watmough. She found herself unexpectedly standing next to him at a fancy event, lost for words. Her solution? “So … Watmough. Remember when you played Origin? And you were really good?” He was, frankly, unimpressed.
Fast forward twelve months and Watmough was carving up the Queenslanders in Origin 2 and 3, and awarded second-rower of the year at the Dally Ms. Redemption, they name is WATMOUGH. Anthony, you can thank Kiki for your Dally M later.
Coincidentally, Jarryd Hayne also had a little run-in that refocussed him, lifted his game, and helped him smash Dally M player of the year … only his was with Jesus, not one of us. Other than that, the situations were pretty much identical, don’t you think?
But our highlight was watching NSW grasp one last victory in the State of Origin series. Sure they may not have won the series, but they did make sure the maroons didn’t get their end-of-series tropical holiday, and at least two Queenslanders were punched in the face. We all know that’s what really counts.
THE GLAMOUR
By ‘glamour’, clearly we don’t mean glamour. League’s inherent wrongness is one of our favourite things. If anything unfortunate, embarassing, or ridiculous can happen, it will happen to our code.
When, in any other code, has a player like Terry Campese reacted tp a bad penalty by cracking it and taking aim with a football at dean Young’s head? Surely the greatest moment so far in T.Camps’ career. At least until we send him that certificate for being the biggest five-eighth in the NRL. More importantly, in what other sport would a high-profile playmaker like Mitchell Pearce sustain a surprise allergic reaction to medical supplies and have to play an 80 minute game on national television with a giant swollen head?
Where else would a player like Ben Hannant be outed by the commentary team for leaving the field with the runs? ATTENTION VIEWERS, PLEASE BET RESPONSIBLY. ALSO, BEN HANNANT HAS TAP-ARSE!
The second the swine flu news story broke in Australia, we nodded and agreed: somehow, at some point, it was inevitable an NRL player would contract it. Congratulations to Ben Hannant for also being the first man to get swine flu in the history of Aussie sport.
THE ROOKIES
Jamal Idris won rookie of the year, and is without doubt the most huggable man in the NRL, but surely Daniel Mortimer was robbed … surely. If being a brilliant half, coming from a family that is rugby league’s answer to the Kennedys, and having completely dreamy eyes doesn’t qualify you for recognition by the league fraternity, then we beg you, what does? We’re hoping the grand final loss will keep him humble enough not to follow the David Williams path and lost his damn mind, start doing cheesy photoshoots in New idea, or forget how to hold the ball.
Sassy nearly died of joy to finally see a Real Bondi Junior - Tom Symonds - run out on the field as a rookie for her beloved Chooks, but almost before we knew it he was carried off a few rounds later with a broken arm. Is it because eastern suburbs juniors are an offence against nature and ill-evolved to live? Is it because rangas have brittle, brittle bones and break easily? That moment hurt her just as much as losing the beautiful Craig Fitzgibbon, saying goodbye to everyone’s favourite sexy ranga, Shane Shackleton, or the rumours of match-fixing did.
Kiki’s much-loved Dragons were rookies at playing consistently brilliant football, until it actually mattered and they pissed it all away. She has already sent her therapy bill to Dragons HQ, c/o Uncle Wayne.
THE REASONS WE KEPT WATCHING
You know you loved it. We’ve always seen footy as a delightful soap opera, and it seems the punters enjoy it, too. Despite the histrionics, it was a record year for NRL audiences.
And why not? Trent Barrett hit Greg Inglis in the face and satisfied every NSW fan’s shameful bloodlust. Mat Rogers and the boys from the Titans discovered Twitter, and it was awesome. Robbie Farah squared up on the Cowboys’ Anthony Watts in a scrum and proved he’s not just a mama’s boy with an eponymous kebab and jerseys so tight they give him visible nipples. Oh, no. Robbie has visible nipples and a mean uppercut. It also helped that Wendell Sailor existed. His dancing in front of a disapproving Jamie Soward, his bringing back the post-try celebration, and his apology to the crowd when he was dakked: the man is a legend.
We love you Rugby League, never ever change. Well, maybe just a little.
KIKI STEWART AND SASSY NEILL
